As I held my two-month old niece tonight, Stefan walked up
to me and questioned, “You want a baby?” He knew the answer to that already.
Yah, of course I want a baby. I shrugged his question off though as if, yah,
whenever. I love holding babies; they don’t have to be mine to enjoy them. They’re
so snuggly, kind of boring and rather quiet when I am holding them. When they
start to scream, I am really happy to just hand them back to their mommies.
This little peanut in my arms almost asleep got me thinking.
I’m going to soon be holding “my” baby and when it screams, its momma is going
to be me. But I didn’t carry this child for 40 weeks, I didn’t labor with this
child, I don’t have the biological bond with this newborn. Am I going to be
able to soothe them in a way a birthmother can? I can’t just give this new baby
back to its biological mother. How am I going to bond with this new baby that I
didn’t physically bring into this world? It feels so foreign to me right now. There’s
no giving them back to their birthmother. The only comfort I have is knowing
that God created this little child for us. It was already written in the
playbooks. It’s a difficult concept to grasp. God knows what is going to happen
in our lives even if that means creating a child for us in another mother’s
womb. Crazy!
We asked our congregation to pray for us today. What a
blessing our church family is. I can trust in them with our prayer and that it
will be heard over and over by God from many people. About 10% of the families in
our church have adopted. They will be great support, wonderful resources, and
loving guidance as we enter this new time in our lives.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
It is amazing how God will make that baby YOURS.The very second that my daughter from Korea was placed in my arms I was completely in love. There was never a moment from that point on when I felt differently than I did with the three I gave brith to. Later I framed her handprints with the adoption poem that says
ReplyDelete"Not flesh of my flesh
Not bone of my bone
But still, miraculously my own.
Never forget,
For a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it."
Dear friend, you will be amazed at how maternal you will feel.
Thank you Judy for sharing that beautiful poem.
DeleteThat is beautiful, Judy! I am confident an adopted baby will be just as dear as a biological baby, and I only know this because we are ALL adopted by God and He loves us just like His Son!
ReplyDelete~ariel
So true Ariel. We are adopted. Praise the Lord!
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